its not stalking. its research.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
