Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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