i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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