i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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