I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
