My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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