i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
