mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
there is glitter all over my balls
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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