roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
