I'm really into asian looking animals
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
