dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
