you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
