Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My nipple is on Facebook.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize