It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
