I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
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I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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