Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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