so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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