I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
