I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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