...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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