Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
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Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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