All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
