Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
