if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
