It's Friday. Sex?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
