i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
