just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
