1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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