I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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