I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
