I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
