Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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