My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I smell stomach acid.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
