so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.