He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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