shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
