I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
