Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
