And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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