Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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