too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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