TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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