Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
