Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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