OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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