Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
