awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
