I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
