i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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