So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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