i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
