he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
