So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
