Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
