i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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