Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
