im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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