i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
