Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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