I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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