You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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