The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Boobs are out for the taking
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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