She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize